An Open Letter to Pam Bondi: Trump’s Nominee for Attorney General

Re: Why Your Corruption, Collusion, and Complicity Make You Unfit for Attorney General

Dear Ms. Bondi,

Congratulations on your nomination as Attorney General. Really. While comparisons to Matt Gaetz are inevitable, you’ve managed to clear the extraordinarily low bar of “not credibly accused of being a sex criminal.” Bravo! But before the nation collectively exhales in relief that you’re not him, let’s take a moment to reflect on why you, Pam Bondi, are still a supremely unqualified choice for the role of the United States Attorney General.

Let’s start with your résumé, which at first glance has the shiny patina of legitimacy—two terms as Florida Attorney General, a stint as a prosecutor, and a chair at something called the America First Policy Institute, a think tank so devoid of actual policy it might as well be a blank sheet of paper with “Trump 2025” scribbled in crayon. But scratch beneath the surface, and it’s clear your career is less about justice and more about loyalty—to Donald J. Trump, specifically.

---

The $25,000 Elephant in the Room

Ah yes, the Trump University donation scandal—a textbook case of pay-to-play politics, with your fingerprints all over it. In 2013, your office conveniently decided against joining New York’s lawsuit against Trump University, a notorious grift posing as a for-profit school. Around the same time—what a coincidence!—your political action committee received a $25,000 donation from the Trump Foundation. That donation not only violated IRS rules, leading to Trump being fined, but also raised the kind of ethical red flags visible from space.

Even more damning, reports revealed you personally solicited the donation while your office was actively deciding whether to investigate Trump’s sham university. Let’s call it what it was: you accepted a bribe to look the other way. Later, Trump openly bragged about his cozy relationships with attorneys general who knew how to stay in line. If it walks like corruption, quacks like corruption, and leaves a $25,000 check on the table, Pam, it’s corruption.

This wasn’t a one-off; it was part of a pattern. You’ve repeatedly blurred the lines between public office and personal loyalty, all while pretending to be the people’s champion. But justice, much like those defrauded Trump University students, never stood a chance.

---

A Loyal Foot Soldier in Trump’s Army

Your fealty to Trump is nothing short of legendary—if “legendary” means an epic saga of sycophancy. During his first impeachment, you took center stage, peddling thoroughly debunked Hunter Biden conspiracies. Then came your frantic road trip to Pennsylvania with Rudy Giuliani, racing to undermine the 2020 election results. That stunt wasn’t about oversight or democracy—it was the opening act in Trump’s war on election integrity, with you eagerly playing the loyal sidekick.

You’ve consistently stood by Trump as he attacked the so-called "deep state," lending your already frayed credibility to his war on democratic institutions. And now, you’re poised to lead the Justice Department—the very agency investigating his crimes. Let’s not kid ourselves: this isn’t about impartiality or justice; it’s about turning the DOJ into Trump’s personal vengeance department. You’ve made it abundantly clear that your loyalty lies with Trump, not the rule of law.

Fred Guttenberg, whose daughter was killed in the Parkland school shooting and who has since become a vocal advocate for transparency, accountability, and principled leadership, captured it succinctly: “She is just as dangerous—maybe more so—because she will always put Trump ahead of the needs of the country.” A stark reminder of how blind loyalty can pave the way for perilous consequences.

---

The Cruel, Cynical Agenda of AFPI

Your role as chair of the Center for Litigation at the America First Policy Institute (AFPI) is not just a masterclass in performative nonsense but a terrifying showcase of horrendous policy proposals. AFPI brands itself as a think tank, but instead of advancing meaningful ideas, it churns out a steady stream of regressive, cruel, and outlandishly unworkable proposals—all under the guise of patriotism.

Unlike traditional policy shops—however ideologically skewed—AFPI doesn’t even attempt to mask its disdain for democratic norms. From perpetuating anti-democratic election conspiracies to pushing punitive immigration policies, AFPI’s agenda is a veritable laundry list of cruelty, fearmongering, and economic malpractice. And make no mistake—AFPI’s close ties to the Heritage Foundation only amplify its worst instincts. Together, they’ve formed a dystopian tag team: Heritage drafts the blueprint, and AFPI cranks the outrage machine to sell it.

Your work there is not just a case study in pandering to the MAGA base; it’s an active endorsement of policies designed to harm marginalized communities, enrich the powerful, and dismantle any semblance of equity in American society. Your so-called “legal strategy” is singularly focused on shielding one man from accountability while advancing an agenda that betrays the very values it pretends to champion.

AFPI isn’t a think tank; it’s a political battering ram for authoritarianism, cynicism, and rank incompetence. And as its proud figurehead, you’ve proven you’re more interested in defending indefensible ideas than in contributing anything of value to the American public.

---

The Gaetz Comparison Trap

Here’s the thing: you don’t need to be Matt Gaetz to be a disaster. Yes, you’re not credibly accused of sex crimes, but that doesn’t make you a better nominee. It just makes you less of a headline risk. Your nomination is a classic Trump tactic: offer someone egregiously unfit, then pivot to a marginally less terrible choice and watch the public squirm into acceptance.

---

America Deserves Better

The Attorney General is supposed to be the nation’s lawyer, not the president’s fixer. You’ve demonstrated time and again that your loyalty is to Trump, not the Constitution, not the rule of law, and certainly not the American people. Your nomination isn’t about justice—it’s about revenge. Trump needs someone to settle scores, dismantle accountability, and shield him from prosecution. You are his perfect pick, not because of your qualifications, but because of your unrelenting sycophancy.

In conclusion, Ms. Bondi, while you may not have Matt Gaetz’s baggage, you bring plenty of your own. The nation doesn’t need another Trump loyalist at the helm of the Justice Department. It needs someone who believes in justice. And let’s be honest—you’ve made it abundantly clear that justice, for you, is just another tool to be weaponized in service of your benefactor.

Good luck with the confirmation hearings. You’ll need it.

Sincerely,
An Exhausted Citizen

P.S. When you next genuflect before Trump, kindly suggest he reconsider his penchant for grifters, sycophants, and unqualified cronies in his cabinet. Throw in that your nomination is proof that he’s not just scraping the bottom of the barrel—he’s knocked it over and started digging a tunnel to new depths of incompetence.