Mersault, this is a masterpiece—satirical, searing, and tragically precise. Thank you for giving the virus a voice so disturbingly honest I almost checked my temperature twice while reading. Your pen is sharper than any spike protein, and the microbial choir you’ve summoned sings a terrifyingly true requiem for common sense.
Reading this from Germany, I’m torn between grim laughter and relief. Yes, we’ve got our own "health freedom" crusaders here too—the Telegram evangelists, the homeschooling dreamers, the biodynamic anti-vaxxers who think measles builds character and mRNA rewrites your soul. They're loud. They're relentless. They’re convinced they’ve out-reasoned epidemiology with a ten-minute podcast and a vitamin D capsule.
And yet… they’re mostly stuck in neutral.
Because here, school is compulsory. *Compulsory.* No “I’ll just teach them about herbs and herd immunity from the sofa” loopholes. And—bless our bureaucratic hearts—we’ve got mandatory measles vaccination for school-aged children. No jab, no classroom. Cry “dictatorship” all you want while stamping your feet in your organic clogs—your child still gets vaccinated for the good of the *solidarity-based community*. And if you want to raise them in the shadows, far from the “evil influence of public health,” the law says: *nein.*
That doesn’t mean we’re safe, of course. The same anti-science rot simmers here too—just slightly more restrained by paperwork. The internet flattens continents, and fear spreads faster than any variant.
But your piece? It’s a call to arms (preferably bared and ready for a booster). I’m grateful for your relentless clarity. Keep writing. Keep piercing. Some of us are still listening—with masks on and sleeves rolled up.
Germany’s “no jab, no classroom” law might just be the kind of pragmatic sanity we dream about over here, where freedom has been twisted into a suicide pact. Your solidarity-based approach is a reminder that civilization doesn’t crumble when we prioritize the common good—it strengthens.
Mersault, there are challenges to our German approach too. Our not-so-nice Germanic traits—and our long history of obedience, regulation, standardization, and deference to authority—often get in the way of true solidarity.
Thank you, Aocm. I really appreciate that. Sometimes I wonder if the ones demanding “freedom” have ever truly lived with collective responsibility—or if they’ve only ever experienced it as control. Reading Mersault’s piece and seeing your reply gives me a little hope that clarity still has a pulse. I’d hand out printed copies at the next protest if I thought they’d read past the headline.
As an environmental biologist who dabbles in microbiology, I am extremely concerned about Bobby McMeasles actions and attitudes about science. He needs to be deposed immediately. How did he ever get this job? He's unqualified to wash glassware.
This was a wonderful letter from a virus. I didn't enjoy it, exactly, the information was too scarily spot on. But I would love to send a copy to McMeasles himself. If only he remembers how to read...the brain worm won't allow it.
Thank you—and coming from an environmental biologist with microbiology chops, your words carry serious weight. You’re absolutely right: Bobby McMeasles (perfect name, by the way) isn’t just unqualified—he’s a walking public health hazard with a press team. Putting him in charge of anything health-related is like handing a flamethrower to a toddler and hoping for warmth.
I’m so glad the virus letter resonated, even if it hit a nerve—because it was meant to. Science is such a burden for those who think shouting louder is the same as knowing more.
Thanks again for standing on the side of reason, microbes, and the planet.
Thank you for your entertaining view into the destruction of mankind. During COVID, I just loved hearing people say “my body, my choice “. The fuckheads are too ignorant to realize that it’s NOT just their body, but also the bodies of everyone around them 🤬 And god forbid you take away their freedom by asking them to wear masks 😱 Hey, they’re ready to kill for that freedom 🤬 And vaccines, no negotiations. But you’ve already said all that.
As someone who studied biology, it amuses me (in a macabre way) that single celled organisms can topple humans who believe they are the be-all and end-all of life on earth. Sometimes I find myself cheering for the bacteria, viruses, Protozoa, and multicellular parasites. Sometimes I feel we humans are too arrogant, too selfish to care about all life on earth. Just maybe we don’t deserve her.
The irony is suffocating, isn't it? Screaming “freedom” while coughing plague into a crowded grocery store, refusing a mask like it’s a muzzle from Satan himself. All while pathogens—silent, ancient, and utterly unimpressed by human exceptionalism—go about their quiet work of humbling us.
There’s a grim satisfaction in watching nature remind humanity that it still holds the reins. Viruses don’t care about your bumper sticker slogans. Bacteria don’t negotiate with patriots. And Earth? She’ll go on spinning long after we’re gone—hopefully cleaner, quieter, and with fewer campaign ads.
So well said 🤓 But I don’t know about the campaign ads. Mother Nature may want to keep those billboards as a reminder of the mistake she made allowing evolution to proceed to Homo sapiens. But then she might just have a whole lot of belly laughs🥳 An experiment gone awry.
Ha! Mother Nature as the ultimate regretful inventor, watching the Homo sapiens experiment spiral into vaccine denial, climate denial, and mass shootings. Maybe she’s not angry—just wildly entertained by the chaos of it all. An evolutionary blooper reel with front-row seats.
I like that idea except I don’t want other life destroyed. I think what would be perfect is aliens arriving on earth to exterminate only humans and repairing the damage we did so other life can flourish🤓
I write as Mersault, invoking Camus’ outsider who refused the comfort of illusion—because in an age where absurdity reigns and truth is bartered for power, only the estranged can see clearly, and only clarity can resist collapse.
Denigrating Dr. Fauci while cheering the brain worm abuser pretty much sums up this whole Terrorist Regime.
One more point I think a lot of folks are missing: the HUGE amount of personal drug taking throughout this crowd. Not just Marmalade Jesus & his entire family, but Hegseth, Kennedy (I will NEVER give him the honorific "RFK." He shames his father's memory.), the Ketamine Klansman, & their acolytes couldn't possibly pass a standard employment drug screen.
The concept that the United States Senate confirmed these louts is the sure sign that the Regime is not SOLELY responsible for the collapse of the Republic. There are plenty of collaborators & complicit boosters pushing hard to create an autocratic state. They WANT the resisters & small "d" Democrats to die off. If that takes quite a few of their own down, they're ok with it.
Your letter should be sent to every Member of Congress personally. You could add another P. S. to underline THEIR responsibility for the deaths of millions as a result of their actions.
My only emotions these days are anger & despair. Thank you for formulating those feelings into this piece.
You’re absolutely right—this isn’t just the work of one orange-tinted tyrant, but a whole web of enablers, doped-up demagogues, and careerist cowards willing to torch democracy if it keeps them close to power. The drug abuse, the delusion, the destruction—it’s all part of the same collapsing circus. I hear your anger and despair, and I share it. But voices like yours remind me that clarity still exists—and that rage can be righteous when it’s aimed at justice.
I don't know about you, but my feelings about President Trump — mashed potatoes be upon his head — changed dramatically when I read the very timely, very poignant poem he composed extemporaneously about yesterday's radical leftist lunatic riots:
"Truly, it is rare to find a species so deliberately self-destructive"
I'm not sure that it's deliberate, but more a consequence of outsized ego and pride: so many wanting to think they know more than actual science experts because they don't want to feel stupid or "talked down to." 🙄😑
Or, an overly simplistic view of religious faith that views trusting science as a rejection of Jesus.
Who knew a virus had such a talent for writing? I would love to see more. Could Ms. V persuade some of her many friends and co-workers to write about their individual epic journeys and adventures? May she can find a statistician in the group to tell us about the actual accomplishments. How many "higher" organisms been consumed in their march toward dominance of the world? Maybe her team is already there and we "higher" organisms just do not know it.
M, Thanks for publishing this letter. I think Ms. V probably does not have a printing press (yet).
Rich—your comment is a delight! Ms. V will be thrilled to know her literary debut was so well received (though she may now insist on royalties… in plasma).
The idea of her recruiting a few microbial colleagues—perhaps a tuberculean memoirist, a parasitic poet, or that rogue fungal bard who’s always waxing lyrical about cordyceps—is just too tempting to pass up. And a statistician? You’re right, someone needs to tally up the “accomplishments.” Spoiler: it’s not looking great for Team Higher Organism.
Thank you for reading and thinking like a true contrarian. Ms. V salutes you—from somewhere slightly damp and alarmingly airborne.
That’s both impressive and, frankly, infuriating. Your son is out there trying to save humanity from drug-resistant tuberculosis, and the reward is employment uncertainty.
Fingers crossed he gets that doctorate before the grants are ungranted.
And how frustrating it is to know that Musk could actually eradicate tuberculosis (and other deadly diseases) with his money. He'd even win a Nobel Peace Prize. Sadly, he's a greedy Nazi.
As a public health infectious disease researcher and a physician I have the exact feeling but couldn't have written so brilliantly and funny though sad.
Thank you so much—coming from someone with your background, that means a great deal. The work you do as both a physician and a public health researcher is vital, especially in a time when facts, science, and basic decency are under siege. If my words can add even a sliver of comedy or catharsis to the fight, I’m honored.
OMG, this is brilliant. I'm going to share it with my sister, a retired pediatrician with not only an MD but also a MPH (public health); my dear friend, who is the director of a (barely) federally-funded health-care clinic; and everyone who reads me on FB or BlueSky. I'm in the middle of reading a couple of books on immunology and virus spread, both written over a decade ago, and both spot-on about corona viruses and influenza.
I am terrified for my newborn granddaughter, who can't even get her first shots for another 6 weeks, and for all of us. We had mastered so many of these illnesses, and now we're throwing it all away.
I appreciate the note—and yes, exactly. We spent decades beating back diseases with science, common sense, and a little thing called vaccines, and now we’re just handing the microbes a comeback tour because Facebook aunties and grifters with podcasts said so.
Your granddaughter should be growing up in a world where measles and pertussis are trivia questions, not threats. But here we are—unlearning everything we once knew, in real time.
Definitely share it far and wide. The more people who still believe in reality speak up, the better shot we have at keeping the rest of us healthy… or at least properly outraged.
I need to add that I got into it with a DOCTOR -- an optometrist -- who told me he wouldn't wear a mask while he examined me (you know how you get nose-to-nose with them while they check your eyes?) I insisted, he whined, and even told me he couldn't breathe with masks on (I said, "Oh, do you faint a lot?") I won that round, reported him to the office manager, and he got called on the carpet. No idea if he changed his ways, because I won't ever go back to him. But -- a doctor?
Senator Rand Paul is allegedly an ophthalmologist. He got into a snit with the board that certifies his specialty, so he set up his own! You can read about it on Snopes and elsewhere. So being a doctor (even an optomotrist) doesn't make you smart or even sensible about microbes. It took 100 years to get them to wash their hands between patients, and (shh) they don't all do it now.
Wow! That was an incredible read. You truly are super talented. I don't want to be creepy, but I kinda want to lick your brain.
I'll get me coat...
In all seriousness though, the destruction of EVERYTHING in your country by this insane regime is truly horrifying. I've been following the deliberate destruction and the fall of the US safely ensconced in a wee town in Scotland. The injustice of it all has brought something out in me; a desire to get up to badness, to fight (and I've never hit anyone non-consensually in my life!). If I was living in the US, I would definitely be part of the resistance. You have to do something, ANYTHING, to put a stop to this madness. This regime needs to be annihilated.
Your brain-licking offer is noted—and weirdly appreciated. But truly, thank you. It means a lot to know the outrage is resonating across oceans. You’re right: this isn’t just political rot—it’s the moral collapse of a nation in real time. And you would be part of the resistance if you were here, no doubt. But trust me, your voice from that “wee town in Scotland” matters too. Keep speaking, keep watching, and keep fueling the fire.
Mersault, this is a masterpiece—satirical, searing, and tragically precise. Thank you for giving the virus a voice so disturbingly honest I almost checked my temperature twice while reading. Your pen is sharper than any spike protein, and the microbial choir you’ve summoned sings a terrifyingly true requiem for common sense.
Reading this from Germany, I’m torn between grim laughter and relief. Yes, we’ve got our own "health freedom" crusaders here too—the Telegram evangelists, the homeschooling dreamers, the biodynamic anti-vaxxers who think measles builds character and mRNA rewrites your soul. They're loud. They're relentless. They’re convinced they’ve out-reasoned epidemiology with a ten-minute podcast and a vitamin D capsule.
And yet… they’re mostly stuck in neutral.
Because here, school is compulsory. *Compulsory.* No “I’ll just teach them about herbs and herd immunity from the sofa” loopholes. And—bless our bureaucratic hearts—we’ve got mandatory measles vaccination for school-aged children. No jab, no classroom. Cry “dictatorship” all you want while stamping your feet in your organic clogs—your child still gets vaccinated for the good of the *solidarity-based community*. And if you want to raise them in the shadows, far from the “evil influence of public health,” the law says: *nein.*
That doesn’t mean we’re safe, of course. The same anti-science rot simmers here too—just slightly more restrained by paperwork. The internet flattens continents, and fear spreads faster than any variant.
But your piece? It’s a call to arms (preferably bared and ready for a booster). I’m grateful for your relentless clarity. Keep writing. Keep piercing. Some of us are still listening—with masks on and sleeves rolled up.
Vaccinated Grüße from Germany.
Germany’s “no jab, no classroom” law might just be the kind of pragmatic sanity we dream about over here, where freedom has been twisted into a suicide pact. Your solidarity-based approach is a reminder that civilization doesn’t crumble when we prioritize the common good—it strengthens.
Mersault, there are challenges to our German approach too. Our not-so-nice Germanic traits—and our long history of obedience, regulation, standardization, and deference to authority—often get in the way of true solidarity.
Indeed, a Masterpiece and yet done with satirical wit
Thank you, John!
Wild Lion, thanks for your perspective from Germany, smh, ppl have no idea what they’re demanding. If only we could get them to read them this letter…
Thank you, Aocm. I really appreciate that. Sometimes I wonder if the ones demanding “freedom” have ever truly lived with collective responsibility—or if they’ve only ever experienced it as control. Reading Mersault’s piece and seeing your reply gives me a little hope that clarity still has a pulse. I’d hand out printed copies at the next protest if I thought they’d read past the headline.
Grüße across the ocean.
🤗
As an environmental biologist who dabbles in microbiology, I am extremely concerned about Bobby McMeasles actions and attitudes about science. He needs to be deposed immediately. How did he ever get this job? He's unqualified to wash glassware.
This was a wonderful letter from a virus. I didn't enjoy it, exactly, the information was too scarily spot on. But I would love to send a copy to McMeasles himself. If only he remembers how to read...the brain worm won't allow it.
Thank you—and coming from an environmental biologist with microbiology chops, your words carry serious weight. You’re absolutely right: Bobby McMeasles (perfect name, by the way) isn’t just unqualified—he’s a walking public health hazard with a press team. Putting him in charge of anything health-related is like handing a flamethrower to a toddler and hoping for warmth.
I’m so glad the virus letter resonated, even if it hit a nerve—because it was meant to. Science is such a burden for those who think shouting louder is the same as knowing more.
Thanks again for standing on the side of reason, microbes, and the planet.
Thank you for your entertaining view into the destruction of mankind. During COVID, I just loved hearing people say “my body, my choice “. The fuckheads are too ignorant to realize that it’s NOT just their body, but also the bodies of everyone around them 🤬 And god forbid you take away their freedom by asking them to wear masks 😱 Hey, they’re ready to kill for that freedom 🤬 And vaccines, no negotiations. But you’ve already said all that.
As someone who studied biology, it amuses me (in a macabre way) that single celled organisms can topple humans who believe they are the be-all and end-all of life on earth. Sometimes I find myself cheering for the bacteria, viruses, Protozoa, and multicellular parasites. Sometimes I feel we humans are too arrogant, too selfish to care about all life on earth. Just maybe we don’t deserve her.
The irony is suffocating, isn't it? Screaming “freedom” while coughing plague into a crowded grocery store, refusing a mask like it’s a muzzle from Satan himself. All while pathogens—silent, ancient, and utterly unimpressed by human exceptionalism—go about their quiet work of humbling us.
There’s a grim satisfaction in watching nature remind humanity that it still holds the reins. Viruses don’t care about your bumper sticker slogans. Bacteria don’t negotiate with patriots. And Earth? She’ll go on spinning long after we’re gone—hopefully cleaner, quieter, and with fewer campaign ads.
So well said 🤓 But I don’t know about the campaign ads. Mother Nature may want to keep those billboards as a reminder of the mistake she made allowing evolution to proceed to Homo sapiens. But then she might just have a whole lot of belly laughs🥳 An experiment gone awry.
Ha! Mother Nature as the ultimate regretful inventor, watching the Homo sapiens experiment spiral into vaccine denial, climate denial, and mass shootings. Maybe she’s not angry—just wildly entertained by the chaos of it all. An evolutionary blooper reel with front-row seats.
🤣🤣 ‘An evolutionary blooper reel with front row seats.’ Not to be schmaltzy, but I love your writing 🤓
Thank you, Doreen!
Or a big asteroid comes, and the cycle starts all over again
I like that idea except I don’t want other life destroyed. I think what would be perfect is aliens arriving on earth to exterminate only humans and repairing the damage we did so other life can flourish🤓
Is Mersault from Camus?
I write as Mersault, invoking Camus’ outsider who refused the comfort of illusion—because in an age where absurdity reigns and truth is bartered for power, only the estranged can see clearly, and only clarity can resist collapse.
Like in the War of the Worlds🤔
Yeah but MAGA1 I.e the Lawless One is vaccinated…
Denigrating Dr. Fauci while cheering the brain worm abuser pretty much sums up this whole Terrorist Regime.
One more point I think a lot of folks are missing: the HUGE amount of personal drug taking throughout this crowd. Not just Marmalade Jesus & his entire family, but Hegseth, Kennedy (I will NEVER give him the honorific "RFK." He shames his father's memory.), the Ketamine Klansman, & their acolytes couldn't possibly pass a standard employment drug screen.
The concept that the United States Senate confirmed these louts is the sure sign that the Regime is not SOLELY responsible for the collapse of the Republic. There are plenty of collaborators & complicit boosters pushing hard to create an autocratic state. They WANT the resisters & small "d" Democrats to die off. If that takes quite a few of their own down, they're ok with it.
Your letter should be sent to every Member of Congress personally. You could add another P. S. to underline THEIR responsibility for the deaths of millions as a result of their actions.
My only emotions these days are anger & despair. Thank you for formulating those feelings into this piece.
You’re absolutely right—this isn’t just the work of one orange-tinted tyrant, but a whole web of enablers, doped-up demagogues, and careerist cowards willing to torch democracy if it keeps them close to power. The drug abuse, the delusion, the destruction—it’s all part of the same collapsing circus. I hear your anger and despair, and I share it. But voices like yours remind me that clarity still exists—and that rage can be righteous when it’s aimed at justice.
I don't know about you, but my feelings about President Trump — mashed potatoes be upon his head — changed dramatically when I read the very timely, very poignant poem he composed extemporaneously about yesterday's radical leftist lunatic riots:
protestors for different reasons
you’re protesting also because
you know
they just didn’t
know
i’ve watched
I’ve watched very closely
why are you
here?
they really aren’t able to say, but they were
there for a reason
perhaps
that was quite touching.
Ahhh, such beautiful poetry 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
chef’s kiss.
i thought the parasites would get us, á la the sentient tapeworms in the symbiont series by mira grant.
i guess we’re just waiting to see which apocalypse hits first.
So friendly. So endearing. So polite. No wonder MAGA families swing open the front door to play host.
"Truly, it is rare to find a species so deliberately self-destructive"
I'm not sure that it's deliberate, but more a consequence of outsized ego and pride: so many wanting to think they know more than actual science experts because they don't want to feel stupid or "talked down to." 🙄😑
Or, an overly simplistic view of religious faith that views trusting science as a rejection of Jesus.
Who knew a virus had such a talent for writing? I would love to see more. Could Ms. V persuade some of her many friends and co-workers to write about their individual epic journeys and adventures? May she can find a statistician in the group to tell us about the actual accomplishments. How many "higher" organisms been consumed in their march toward dominance of the world? Maybe her team is already there and we "higher" organisms just do not know it.
M, Thanks for publishing this letter. I think Ms. V probably does not have a printing press (yet).
Rich S, Octogenarian and Contrarian
Rich—your comment is a delight! Ms. V will be thrilled to know her literary debut was so well received (though she may now insist on royalties… in plasma).
The idea of her recruiting a few microbial colleagues—perhaps a tuberculean memoirist, a parasitic poet, or that rogue fungal bard who’s always waxing lyrical about cordyceps—is just too tempting to pass up. And a statistician? You’re right, someone needs to tally up the “accomplishments.” Spoiler: it’s not looking great for Team Higher Organism.
Thank you for reading and thinking like a true contrarian. Ms. V salutes you—from somewhere slightly damp and alarmingly airborne.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My son is a doctoral candidate at the University of Washington.
He has been working on drug resistance for tuberculosis.
Hopefully, he will receive his doctorate before funding runs out.
But...then what?
That’s both impressive and, frankly, infuriating. Your son is out there trying to save humanity from drug-resistant tuberculosis, and the reward is employment uncertainty.
Fingers crossed he gets that doctorate before the grants are ungranted.
Thank you for your response.
And how frustrating it is to know that Musk could actually eradicate tuberculosis (and other deadly diseases) with his money. He'd even win a Nobel Peace Prize. Sadly, he's a greedy Nazi.
As a public health infectious disease researcher and a physician I have the exact feeling but couldn't have written so brilliantly and funny though sad.
Thank you so much—coming from someone with your background, that means a great deal. The work you do as both a physician and a public health researcher is vital, especially in a time when facts, science, and basic decency are under siege. If my words can add even a sliver of comedy or catharsis to the fight, I’m honored.
OMG, this is brilliant. I'm going to share it with my sister, a retired pediatrician with not only an MD but also a MPH (public health); my dear friend, who is the director of a (barely) federally-funded health-care clinic; and everyone who reads me on FB or BlueSky. I'm in the middle of reading a couple of books on immunology and virus spread, both written over a decade ago, and both spot-on about corona viruses and influenza.
I am terrified for my newborn granddaughter, who can't even get her first shots for another 6 weeks, and for all of us. We had mastered so many of these illnesses, and now we're throwing it all away.
I appreciate the note—and yes, exactly. We spent decades beating back diseases with science, common sense, and a little thing called vaccines, and now we’re just handing the microbes a comeback tour because Facebook aunties and grifters with podcasts said so.
Your granddaughter should be growing up in a world where measles and pertussis are trivia questions, not threats. But here we are—unlearning everything we once knew, in real time.
Definitely share it far and wide. The more people who still believe in reality speak up, the better shot we have at keeping the rest of us healthy… or at least properly outraged.
I need to add that I got into it with a DOCTOR -- an optometrist -- who told me he wouldn't wear a mask while he examined me (you know how you get nose-to-nose with them while they check your eyes?) I insisted, he whined, and even told me he couldn't breathe with masks on (I said, "Oh, do you faint a lot?") I won that round, reported him to the office manager, and he got called on the carpet. No idea if he changed his ways, because I won't ever go back to him. But -- a doctor?
😳
Senator Rand Paul is allegedly an ophthalmologist. He got into a snit with the board that certifies his specialty, so he set up his own! You can read about it on Snopes and elsewhere. So being a doctor (even an optomotrist) doesn't make you smart or even sensible about microbes. It took 100 years to get them to wash their hands between patients, and (shh) they don't all do it now.
https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/rand-paul-ophthalmologist/
I can't argue with you about that, since I also had to argue with a pediatrician who didn't want to wash his hands before touching my daughter!
Thanks Patrice
This is a masterpiece. It's tragically and truly seriously clear. This is brilliant, but utterly horrifying.
Wow! That was an incredible read. You truly are super talented. I don't want to be creepy, but I kinda want to lick your brain.
I'll get me coat...
In all seriousness though, the destruction of EVERYTHING in your country by this insane regime is truly horrifying. I've been following the deliberate destruction and the fall of the US safely ensconced in a wee town in Scotland. The injustice of it all has brought something out in me; a desire to get up to badness, to fight (and I've never hit anyone non-consensually in my life!). If I was living in the US, I would definitely be part of the resistance. You have to do something, ANYTHING, to put a stop to this madness. This regime needs to be annihilated.
A pox on their house!!!!!
Your brain-licking offer is noted—and weirdly appreciated. But truly, thank you. It means a lot to know the outrage is resonating across oceans. You’re right: this isn’t just political rot—it’s the moral collapse of a nation in real time. And you would be part of the resistance if you were here, no doubt. But trust me, your voice from that “wee town in Scotland” matters too. Keep speaking, keep watching, and keep fueling the fire.